The PSU Advocacy Initiative

Here is the Family Eval. that Donnie sent to Doug, to make sure he was fit to be the Spousal Unit of a Pech Clan member! Hee Hee.

Mom, be sure to read the "distinctive nose" section towards the end!

Unfortunately, I never scanned the EVAL. that Doug completed and sent to Donnie, but here is his bid for "extra points" he wrote and sent, after Donnie sent him his scores! Har Har!

_{The PSU Advocacy
Initiative,
A Colorado non-profit dedicated to the fair
treatment of Potential Spousal Units Units.}

It has come to the attention of our office that a primary evaluation of potential spousal unit, Douglas D. Holdread Jr. has been conducted by you on behalf of the descendants of Al and Freda Pech, and in the protective interest of Lori Jean (Hardin) Downs.

We wish to congratulate you for your efforts to maintain high familial standards as evidenced by your use of the of the Standard Primary Evaluation form in screening PSUs.

However, in reviewing your evaluation of PSU Holdread, we note several inaccurate and/or incomplete items as well as questionable scorings.

We feel that PSU Holdread deserves full credit in this category as evidenced by his habitual hiking, backpacking, camping, biking activities. These behaviors have been observed and participated in by FM Lori Downs and can be attested to by her.

The correct SOB of PSU Holdread is Indiana, not Ohio as indicated in your PREVAL. We believe this error may be the result of inaccurate information offered by the FM involved. However since this would still place the PSU in question within zone 3, this is simply a matter of clarification and does not alter the scoring of the unit.

Since PSU Holdread claims occupational identity in both the “highest Echelon” as well as in the “2^nd Echelon”, (artist), we must in good conscience advocate for the awarding of bonus points in behalf of the PSU.

There are several items, which were not scored, but instead simply marked with “ID”, insufficient data. We wish to supply, on behalf of PSU Holdread, relevant details which may give you cause to reconsider your scoring in these categories

PSU Holdread does, in fact travel byways. FM Lori Downs can attest to this fact. Among these byways are US 160, County Road 127, and New Mexico Highway 87. MF Downs can also attest to the travel by PSU upon byways lacking any numeric identity whatsoever.

PSU Holdread has demonstrated to our review board, through both anecdotal and experiential evidence that in southern Colorado an aberration to the Midwestern index-finger-off-the-steering-wheel wave exists, and is both fully comprehended and participated in by PSU Holdread. We are persuaded that the Southern Colorado manifestation of this phenomena consists of a full-handed wave with the heal of the hand resting upon the steering wheel. While this may appear to Iowans as a salutative perversion, it is our considered opinion that it is, indeed a permutation of the above-sited wave.

Again, FM Lori Downs will attest to PSU Holdread’s conscientious and respectful observance of historical markers and monuments.

Not only can PSU Holdread different olfactorially between bovine and porcine manure, but he has demonstrated the ability, at distances of up to two miles, to differentiate between dairy cattle and feedlot cattle.

In the interest of full and open disclosure we feel that is only right to acknowledge that, while PSU Holdread doesn’t pronounce supposedly with a “b”, he has been overheard using local dialectic permutations such as “Yous guys”, “Safeways” and “Walmarts”, and such mispronunciations of place names as “Pleblo”, for Pueblo Colorado and “Beunie” in reference to Buena Vista, Colorado. We have not been able to ascertain whether or not PSU Holdread’s has a satiric intent in these mispronunciations, but pending clarification we feel that it is fair to deducted four points.

While PSUAI in unaware of PSU Holdread’s use of the hooked-finger technique to indicate quotations, he has been observed by our independent evaluators engaging in excessive and apparently involuntary winking behaviors.

While PSU Holdread does not appear to have what one would consider a “strong pitching arm”, neither would it be fair to characterize his throwing style as “girl-like.” In Holdread’s defense it has been observed that he is able to consistently skip a flat rock 3 to 5 skips across an undisturbed surface of water.

PSU Holdread appears to prefer in-filling with “you know” to the verbal fillers cited in your evaluation.

PSU Holdread does not possess a “distinctive” nose. He is also thankful free of the “pinched” nose syndrome so eschewed by Pech family members.

P.S. Don’t give up on the female fecundity theory too soon. PSUAI has discovered corn sprouts in damp corners of PSU Holdread’s apartment.

End result:
Doug passed the Eval.
with FLYING colors
and was forthwith accepted joyfully into the
Pech Clan.